Piper
by cookiesaredelicious
Summary: 'Oh Piper, you're so hot. You're like a stove. You're like a zesty pepper." Parody of 'Ginny' on YouTube, and inspired by Daughter of Hypnos' Demigod Angst. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Oneshot-or at least, it would be if I didn't decide to revise it and make a bunch of useless announcements.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a PARODY of 'Ginny' by potterpuppetpals on YouTube. So don't flame me because the characters are horrendously OOC. That's for the pure humor of it all. Reviews are appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO…nor do I own 'Ginny'.**

"Oh, Piper," Jason said, sitting on the beach with her. "You're so HOT. You're like a stove. You're like a zesty pepper. I feel this connection. I don't know what it is about you. I feel like you're my best friend. My HOT best friend. You're so beautiful, like a Thomas Kinkade painting. I'M SO INTO YOU. Hey, don't move. I'll be right back." He walked over to Leo, who was sitting near them, staring at Piper's sisters.

"Hey Leo," Jason greeted. "I was just with Piper. She's so HOT, Leo. Heads up, I'm gonna take Piper."

"Oh that's really wonder-" Leo tried to say, but got cut off by Jason.

"I feel BAD for you, Leo." Jason interrupted. "It's like you probably don't even KNOW how hot Piper is. She's really hot." He added.

"I don't know what the-" Leo tried to say again, but got cut off AGAIN. Poor Leo.

"I'm gonna make out with Piper tonight." Jason said. "I don't need your APPROVAL."

"I fully support you." Leo said, but Jason was already gone.

"Oh Piper, good gods, girl!" Jason called to Piper. "I can't get you outta my mind. Your hair drives me wild, you know that? I was just thinking, you know what would be REALLY hot? And I mean like, _REALLY_hot? If you got like, you know, a pixie cut! Like, real short and modern? I don't know. Call me crazy. I just think it would really do it for me. I know what I like, and I like two things: Mythology, and you. And me," he added after thinking a bit. "Be right back." And with that, Jason ran back to where Leo was.

"Hello again, Jason!" Leo greeted.

"Ugh!" Jason gasped. "Don't jump out at me like that! Things like that should come with a warning."

"I'm sorry, Jason." Leo apologized, hanging his head in shame. "I didn't mean to fright-"

"I'm freaking out, Leo!" Jason cut in. "I'm so nervous. I don't know how to ask Piper out! She's too hot."

"Oh no," Leo worried. "That's quite a problem."

"Look," Jason said. "I just need to practice. I'll be me, and you put on this wig and pretend to be Piper." When they were ready, Jason cleared his throat and began.

"Hey Piper! How's it going? That's cool. Listen. I'm a man, you're a girl, and we could end tomorrow for all we know, only a fool would wait. So come on, Piper. Be my girlfriend. Be my _chick._** (A/N: LOL, I know. But I couldn't call her a witch, right?)**"

"I would love to, Jason!" Leo cried, in a high voice which Jason assures you does not sound like Piper at all.

"You would? Oh, you've made me the happiest man alive, Piper! I'm so happy, I could kiss you." Then, the two slowly leaned in, and when they were 6 inches away, Jason wagged his head and said,

"Simulation complete. I'm ready now. Thank you, Leo!", and ran back to Piper to ask her out.

"No problem, Jason," Leo replied, but Jason was already gone.

"Piper!" Jason cried, surprised that she listened to him. "You got that haircut! It's nice. I LOVE it! Um, wait a minute. Don't move. I'll be right back." And once again, Jason fled back to Leo. When he saw him, he hadn't taken off his wig yet, and in his nervousness, Jason thought that he was Piper.

"Oh no." He muttered, going back to Piper.

"Hmmph." He groaned as he saw her. He went back to Leo.

"Eh." Jason grumbled, thinking that they looked the same. He rushed back to Piper. In a state of pure and utter confusion, he raised his sword and stabbed himself, saying, "Well…goodbye cruel world!"

Jason went to Elysium, mourning over the loss of his Piper. And do you know what she did? She just stood there, staring at his body in shock.

**A/N: Heh. That was fun to write. And to all you flamers out there, I will tell you one more time that this is a parody, and the characters are OOC for the pure humor of it all. I also would recommend watching the video and the whole collection, 'cause it would add to the humor. Check it out! **


	2. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!

**A/N: Okay, peoples. BIG NEWS! THIS story has been nominated for the PJOFF Awards in the Romance section! EEEEK! *Fangirly scream* Anyway, would you please do me a favor and vote for me? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Thank you to all who will (and did) vote for me! **

**P.S. Out of all voters who will vote for me, I will choose one randomly to maybe guest star in my story, PJO TRUTH OR DARE. **

**The link to voting is**

**h t t p : / / p j o f a n d o m a w a r d s . w e b s . c o m / v o t e . h t m**

**without the spaces. Just click on the Romance link and vote!**


	3. Yet Another Announcement

Hey guys! I know it's been a long time-two years, maybe? I'm going to go through my crappy stories and revise them-it makes me feel so embarrassed to even look at the weird things I wrote when I was a silly eleven-year-old. Of course, I'm still pretty weird, but that's beside the point.

So, if anyone cares to read it, I'm going to take another shot at the "Piper" story-you know, make it less robotic and more comedic. Enjoy!


	4. UPDATES HERE!

**THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. **

Sorry if I disappointed you; this isn't an update, but it will tell you where to find the updates.

My new account is whotookmypie. I'll be rewriting and continuing some of my stories on there.

Check it out!

**Hugs, virtual cookies, and Fudge Flies,**

**cookiesaredelicious**


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